to those I Love and/or to those who Suffer

[james_christine_parker]

You [the caregiver] do not suffer because of them [person with a dementia]. They have a disease, a neurological illness, that's a fact. But that's not why you suffer.

You suffer because you love. If you did not love, you would not suffer. And the more you love, the more you suffer. Problem is, when you try to do something you cannot do, or be something you cannot be, the guilt, shame, anxiety and fear makes the love go underground ... and you can't feel the love anymore. Love is learning to live with your helplessness in the face of your loved one's suffering.

~ Dr. Dan Gottlieb (psychotherapist) at 2005 Frontotemporal Dementia Caregiver Conference